Pushed Away and Pulled Together
by half-goddess-Katia
Summary: Shuichi has finally gotten sick of the way that Yuki can treat him and leaves. He is in the park when he is found by none other than Ryuichi Sakuma. RyuShu pairing
1. In The End

In the End

Disclaimer: I don't own Gravitation or any thing related to it, and I don't own the song (_In the End_ by Linkin Park). I do, however, own the plot line that I've managed to develop.

Warnings: Homosexual relationships (duh...) and probably some very mild cursing. **Also**, these characters will be kind of OOC when compared to the regular series (both manga and anime), but remember that it is natural because I am not Maki Murakami and am only using her characters for my own story. Thanks!

AN: This will be at least a 3 part song fiction, and I will be using at least two more songs. I think I know what I will be using, but if you have any suggestions I'd be happy to heart them.

Also: Lyrics are in italics and the story itself is in plain type.

**Enjoy and please review!**

I'm sitting outside in your living room again, having just been kicked out after our increasingly rare round of sex. I can't even call it 'loving making' anymore...did you ever even consider it that?

We've been together for three years now, Yuki, and you've never told me, even once, that you've loved me and meant it. Recently, you've grown more distant as well. Sometimes I feel as if you don't even realize that I'm there with you. What am I to you? Did you ever love me, or was it all just a ploy?

_(It starts with one) _

_One thing, I don't know why _

_It doesn't even matter how hard you try _

_Keep that in mind, I designed this rhyme _

_To explain in due time_

Suddenly, I can't just sit here anymore. I cannot just sit around here, acting like you're convenient toy. It has just become too much. I don't know why it started now, but now that it has, I can't stop myself.

I stand up off the couch and gather my stuff up quietly. I actually have a surprisingly small amount of personal items to carry. It is probably because that I kept taking things with me to Hiro's house whenever you would kick me out of our...I mean _your_ house when you were nearing a deadline or were just sick of me. All my stuff manages to fit in a single backpack. I'm leaving behind the pictures that we had, as few as those were.

_(All I know) _

_Time is a valuable thing _

_Watch it fly by as the pendulum swings _

_Watch it count down to the end of the day _

_The clock ticks life away_

Before I leave, I can't help but look into your room one more time and see your sleeping face. I can't and don't fight this urge because I know that, on some level, I still care for you, but I can't stand it anymore. Then I wonder, will you even notice that I'm gone? How long will it take you?

About to cry, I turn away and move silently towards the doors. Before I leave, I glance at the clock in the living room, and I'm not sure if I should laugh or cry at the irony. It is now midnight. This was the exact hour that you first walked into my life, and it is in that same hour that I will walk right out of yours.

_(It's so unreal) _

_Really didn't look out below _

_Watch the time go right out the window _

_Trying to hold on, but didn't even know _

_I wasted it all just to watch you go_

I run out of the door quickly. I don't even realize where I'm going, just allowing my feet to take me where they will. I know I can't go to Hiro's, he is visiting Ayaka in Kyoto right now and won't be back for nearly a month, and I don't even want to think about what would happen if I tried to seek refuge with Fujisaki.

By the time I stop running, I'm out of breath. My eyes closed, I sink onto what I realize is cold, damp grass. My violet orbs open, and I laugh bitterly as I realize that my feet have carried me to one of the places I'm not sure I want to be at. I'm in the park where we first met, mere feet from the spot where you stood when I first saw you.

_(Watch you go) _

_I kept everything inside and _

_Even though I tried, it all fell apart _

_What it meant to me will eventually be _

_A memory of the time I tried so hard_

I guess I can't really blame you entirely. I know that you didn't want me in your life in the first place, but I was hopeful that I could change your mind. I had hoped that, with time, you could come to care for me as I care for you. I kept all the pain inside from all your snide remarks, acting as if they didn't even faze me. I never let you know that you did hurt me. I tried so hard to put the pieces that you broke together and salvage whatever I could of _us_, and now look where I am. I'm shattered, I'm alone, and I'm, due to fate's sense of humor, in the park where we first met. I'm not even sure if I recognize myself anymore.

_I tried so hard _

_And got so far _

_But in the end _

_It doesn't even matter _

_I had to fall _

_To lose it all _

_But in the end _

_It doesn't even matter_

I tried so hard. I tried to help and protect you, but you didn't want me to. I even let Aizawa and his hired goons have their way with me just so you would be safe. I know that hurt you because it reminded you of Kitazawa, and at the time I though that your worrying over me was because you loved me. I guess, in your own twisted way, you did care for me, but I also have to wonder when did that change? When did all my attempts become worth nothing? When did you stop caring, and why did I still try?

_One thing, I don't know why _

_It doesn't even matter how hard you try _

_Keep that in mind, I designed this rhyme _

_To remind myself how I tried so hard _

I guess that the major question over all would be "Why". Why did I try so hard? Why didn't you? Why did I care for you when you didn't care for me? Why didn't you stop everything before it got so far? Why were you so cruel at times? Just...why?

_(I tried so hard) _

_In spite of the way you were mocking me _

_Acting like I was part of your property _

_Remembering all the times you fought with me _

_I'm surprised it got so_

You always put me down. I loved you and gave all of myself; my mind, heart, body, and soul; to you, and you didn't seem to really understand or try to understand how much you meant to me. You only ever acted kind or protective of me when I was physically hurt by another, like with the Aizawa incident, or when others attempted to pursue me. I guess you were simply possessive of what you considered your property, right Yuki?

_(Got so far) _

_Things aren't the way they were before _

_You wouldn't even recognize me anymore _

_Not that you knew me back then _

_But it all comes back to me_

I take off my backpack, careful not to break anything, before I lay down on my back in the grass. I stare up at the stars and wonder where my innocence went and when it disappeared. What happened to the boy with the rosy glasses attached firmly to his face? I hardly even recognize myself anymore, and I wonder if you would recognize this side of me, the side that has spent all of its true tears on you. After all, I have done a pretty good job of hiding from everyone what has been going on between the two of us.

_(In the end) _

_You kept everything inside and _

_Even though I tried, it all fell apart _

_What it meant to me will eventually be _

_A memory of the time I tried so hard_

I close my eyes tiredly and let my mind drift. I'm scared, but I know that I've done the right thing. You were never willing to totally open up to me. Yes, you told me some of your past, but you refused to let me completely see who you are now. Only a select few could see that, and I was not one of them. I guess that should've been my first clue that I wasn't truly needed.

_I tried so hard _

_And got so far _

_But in the end _

_It doesn't even matter _

_I had to fall _

_To lose it all _

_But in the end _

_It doesn't even matter_

It is just a pity that it took me so long to notice. I always was too stubborn for my own good. I had to lose almost all of myself before I could finally realize that it truly would never work. I guess that now that I've fallen, I have to find a way to pick up the pieces.

_I've put my trust in you _

_Pushed out as far as I can go _

_For all this _

_There's only one thing you should know _

_I've put my trust in you _

_Pushed out as far as I can go _

_For all this _

_There's only one thing you should know_

I know I should pick myself up off the ground and find some decent shelter for the night considering that winter is starting to come in nicely, and I definitely won't come out of a night on the grass without, at the very least, a cold. Somehow, though, I can't truly bring myself to care and allow my mind to drift off.

The last thing I hear before I succumb to the exhaustion brought on by several sleepless nights is a familiar voice calling my name. I know that I should remember the name of the owner of the voice, but it eludes my mind.

In my sleep, though, I dream of piercing sapphire eyes framed by brunette locks beside a pink bunny doll.

_I tried so hard _

_And got so far _

_But in the end _

_It doesn't even matter _

_I had to fall _

_To lose it all _

_But in the end _

_It doesn't even matter_

AN: So, what did you think? Good, bad, great, terrible? I appreciate all **constructive** criticisms, and flames will, naturally, be used to toast marshmallow for smores. -


	2. Beneath the Mask

Beneath the Mask

Disclaimer: I don't own Gravitation or anything related to it.

I **do** own the song/poem, though, so if you'd like to use it please ask and give credit where credit is due. Thanks!

Warnings: Same as before...

AN: Still taking suggestions for the next couple of parts, so if anyone has a song that they think will fit perfectly, just let me know!

AN 2: Thank you to Silvea, Saint Germain, and yaoi kitsune, all of whom reviewed my first chapter!

As before, lyrics are in italics and the story itself is in plain type!

**Enjoy and please review!**

It is nearly midnight, and I can't seem to get to sleep. Not even Kumagoro's tales of his life in an Indian palace with his many bunny friends manages to distract me tonight. I know why, though. I can't seem to get my mind off a certain singer with cotton candy colored hair.

_I saw you again today_

_Surrounded by all your friends_

_You looked happy_

_And fooled all those near you_

I saw him again today at N-G Studios, and I can't get my mind off of the pain I could see beneath that happy mask he always wears. It has been there since I first met him, sometimes only a dust speck in his normal sparkle and other times consuming his shine completely.

People would probably wonder about me if they could hear my thoughts now. You wouldn't think that _the_ Ryuichi Sakuma, the extremely childish and seemingly oblivious singing idol, would be able to spot such intricate disguises. However, you do become surprisingly adept at spotting others' masks when you're constantly wearing one yourself. How else could you describe the apparent difference in the way the world sees me and the way I really am inside?

_I knew why,_

_It is always the same reason_

_It is because of your Love_

_That you hurt so_

I have to say, though, that Shuichi's mask is one of the best I've ever seen. No one, not even those closest to him, appear to have been able to see through it to the pain that he is in. I know the reason behind that all-consuming pain too. Who couldn't, at the very least, guess?

I know now that it is Eiri Yuki's fault that Shu's shine keeps getting duller, though at the beginning I didn't know for sure. Then I heard Shuichi muttering to himself one day before I had a chance to call out to him, and I couldn't help but listen, and now I know of some of the things that he has done to Shuichi, and I can guess some of the rest. I am, after all, much more observant than many people would guess and than I ever let on.

_He is cruel and attempts_

_To douse your light, not caring_

_That you're dying on the inside_

_And no one else seems able to see_

I know that Yuki is negligent of Shuichi and treats him as his own personal possession. He is constantly putting Shuichi down, and yet Shu is always the one apologizing. He seems so confident that Shuichi will always be there for him to use as he sees fit, and his arrogance infuriates me. He should treasure the light which he holds the heart of, but he doesn't even seem to care, doesn't even seem to realize the true value of what he holds.

_Except me, though, I saw it_

_That pain you hide beneath_

_That mask of apparent perfection_

_The one you wear always_

I suddenly can't stand staying in one place anymore. I get up off of the couch and lay Kumagoro down. I know that he is sleepy and needs his sleep, even if I can't get my own. I grab a jacket out of my closet and place it on top of my t-shirt before donning my baseball hat as a habit, though I doubt that very many people will be out at this time of night. I step outside and, after carefully locking the door, allow my feet to carry me as they will.

_I try to help, reach out to you_

_Time and time again_

_I pick you up and try to_

_Heal the would I see on you each day_

As I walk, my thoughts continue to spin about in my head. I've always tried to help Shuichi in anyway I could, from the very first time I saw him. Why else would I walk through a crowd, singing, just so that he would not get clobbered by the same crowd? He reminded me of myself when I was his age, young and yet very talented all the same. I think that I started loving him then, though at the time I believed that he was happy with Yuki and decided not to interfere.

_Perhaps one day you'll see_

_He isn't right for you and_

_That you shouldn't hide beneath a mask,_

_A mask no one spots_

As time went on, though, I could see him hurt more and more. I could always judge when the two were at their best and when they had fought just by simply looking at his face. Yuki left him many times, apparently trying to "help" Shu but really only hurting him in the end. I suppose that, in his own twisted way, Yuki did care about Shuichi, but it wasn't the type of love a person like Shuichi needed to thrive.

I slow down even more as I enter a park, and I shake my head at my own foolishness as I realize that it is the park only a couple of blocks away from where Shuichi lives with Yuki. My feet seem to have been following my thoughts by leading me to the home of the pink haired singer. I could almost laugh at how pathetic I am.

_Except me, though, I saw it_

_That pain you hide beneath_

_That mask of apparent perfection_

_The one you wear always_

I'm about to turn around and head back home when I spot something lying in the grass a few meters ahead of me. At first, I think that it is just some poor, drunk hobo, and I'm about to ignore him until I spot that unmistakable hair. It was Shuichi! He was lying on the grass, apparently asleep or almost asleep, in nothing but a pair of jeans and a tank top.

"Shuichi!" I can't help but call out as I race over to where he is, just in time to see those violet orbs shut. I curse to myself before I take off my jacket and wrap him in it. I shoulder his back pack, and I pick him up bridal style, surprised at how light the younger singer is.

Shaking my head, I run back to my house as fast as my feet will carry me, my only concern the unconscious boy in my arms. And, as selfish as it may sound, I'm almost glad that I found him like that because maybe, just maybe, Shuichi had finally realized that Yuki did not deserve him, and I may just have a chance, slim as it is, to show him what real love should be like.

_Perhaps one day you'll take_

_The hand that I offer_

_And I'll pull you from_

_The Dark into the Light_

AN: So, as before, please review! Thanks!

Also, if you didn't know: **Gravitation does have a sequel series out called "Gravitation Ex" so check it out!**


	3. Discussion

Discussions

Disclaimer: I don't own Gravitation or anything related to it, but I do own the plot line that I've managed to place those characters in.

Warnings: Same old, same old

AN: Okay, no song or poem this time. I couldn't find the right one, and my poetry inspiration wasn't working at the time, but I think that it turned out well all the same.

AN 2: Thanks to Saint Germain, yaoi kitsune, StormpawofMoonclan, and inufan1369 for the reviews on my second chapter! Also, thank you to Silvea for getting back to me!

Also, thanks for the song suggestion, and I may use it in a future fic, and if I do I promise that I will give credit where credit is due (inufan1369).

This chapter, unlike the two before it, does switch POV's, but I have made it clear which are Ryuichi's thoughts and which are Shuichi's.

Also, there should only be one or two more chapters after this because I know that if I try and make it long then it will become repetitive and very similar to some of the other Shu/Ryu fics out there which is what I want to avoid.

Finally, please read and enjoy!

**Ryu's POV**

I place Shuichi on my couch as soon as I can, and I race about trying to find blankets to cover him up in. His skin is like ice, and I know that if I don't warm him up soon he may have worse to deal with than a small cold.

Before I place the blankets on him, I strip him of his wet clothes, very careful to try and preserve his modesty, and get him into some of my thicker pajamas, this particular pair having a Kumagoro print all over it. I follow that with four blankets over him, and, thankfully, by the time everything is done his color has improved a bit.

I can't know for sure yet what has caused him to be in the park in the middle of the night, but I can sure as hell take a guess. Shaking my head, I get up and grab a large pillow from my room and lean it up against the couch. Grabbing Kumagoro, I let my body relax a bit against the pillow and prepare to watch over the younger singer until he wakes up. My mind is racing a hundred miles a minute trying to imagine what exactly happened and my emotions were running around about as fast. I'm not sure whether I'm relieved or not when Shuichi opens his captivating eyes two hours later and puts a halt to all my chaotic thoughts.

**Shu's POV**

The first thing that I notice when I wake up is that it is warm. That baffles me, as I'm sure that I fell asleep in the park. Or was that just a dream? Then I remember hearing the voice, the one I know recognize as being Sakuma-san's, right before I drifted off, or was that a dream too? I know that there was only one way to find out, and I opened my eyes only to shut them quickly again and groan at the pain caused by the light that assaulted my eyes.

"Shuichi?" I hear _his_ voice, Sakuma-san's voice, call out tentatively and I then know that the whole thing wasn't a dream. "Shuichi? I know you're awake, and I already turned down the lights," Sakuma-san says, and I once again open my eyes to a, thankfully, dimmer room.

"Are you okay?" he asks me as I take a moment to get my bearings.

Quickly, I gather myself and force my normal happy mask onto my face as I'm sitting up before replying with, "Of course Sakuma-san! Why wouldn't I be okay?"

I almost choke at the disbelieving look on his face, and I answer his unasked question, careful not to let anything significant slip into my tale.

"I was in the park because I was at home and just wanted to go for a walk," I start in the childish tone that I'm known for, "so I did. Then I laid down on the grass to watch the stars and must have drifted off before I knew it!" That should satisfy him, please let him believe me. My prayers weren't answered.

"Cut it out Shuichi," he almost snaps, sapphire eyes serious, "I know that isn't the truth."

**Ryu's POV**

I saw his eyes widen slightly and the mask slip for a moment when I called him on his bluff before he attempted to pull it back together, but I wouldn't let him. I wasn't going to take that kind of lie, and I wanted him to know that.

"I want to know why you were _really_ out there. I want to know why you were in the park in the middle of night with a backpack full of stuff beside you." I continue, not giving him a chance to interrupt and making sure that his violet orbs stay locked on my own sapphire eyes. "I want to know the truth Shuichi."

**Shu's POV**

I'm shocked at this. How did he know that it wasn't the truth? How could Sakuma-san see that when no one else would have even batted an eyelash at my explanation, chalking it up as another stupid Shuichi mistake?

I open my mouth again, but nothing comes out. How could it? How can I just tell someone, much less the normally childish Sakuma-san, though admittedly he didn't look nearly so childish now? More over, how could _he_ see through my mask when no one else could? Could he, perhaps, know what to look for because he does the same thing?

**Ryu's POV**

He's speechless and shocked, I can tell. I slowly get up and sit beside him, and I pull him into my arms. I feel him stiffen and then relax slightly into my embrace. I would've smiled if the situation weren't quite so serious.

Voice completely serious, I whisper into his ear, "You don't need to pretend anymore Shuichi. Stop forcing yourself to look happy. Cry, and let it out so you don't have to hide anymore."

**Shu's POV**

I can't help it. With those words, I break down. Someone had actually seen through my lies, and someone cared. I cried for I'm not sure how long, though I feel as if I should not have had that many tears left inside my body. I cry for the love I never had from the person I loved most, I cry for the loneliness that I've felt inside, and I cry out of relief that maybe, just maybe, I didn't have to pretend anymore.

Somewhere in my crying, I manage to tell Sakuma-san everything. I tell him the story from the very beginning, and I feel a burden I didn't know I carried lifted off of my shoulders. Later, much later, I drift off to sleep, content for the first time in a long time.

**Ryu's POV**

I hold him as he cries himself to sleep and for a long time after that, simply absorbing all that I had been told. Some I had known, some I had guessed, and some was completely new to me. I shake my head as I look down at the sleeping angel in my lap, having shifted him so that he lay flat on the couch with his head resting in my lap. I gently stroke his hair, and I know that I can't leave him. I've heard from his own mouth that he is unhappy, and I know that I will do anything in my power to keep him safe and make him genuinely happy again.

AN: So, as before, please review! Thanks!


	4. You Found Me

You Found Me

Disclaimer: I don't own Gravitation or anything related to it, but I do own the plot line that I've managed to place those characters in. I also don't own the song "You Found Me" by Kelly Clarkson.

Warnings: Same old, same old

AN: Thanks to Saint Germain, yaoi kitsune, Charlow, and inufan1369 for the reviews on my last chapter!

**IMPORTANT: This is set exactly one year from the time that the last chapter left off so don't think that all of this happened over night!**

Also, this will be the **next to last** chapter, i.e. I only have one more **planned** after this. I hope that you have enjoyed the fiction so far, and I promise that you will know the official verdict when the next chapter comes out.

As before: Lyrics are in italics and the story itself is in plain type.

**Enjoy and please review!**

_Is this a dream_

_If it is_

_Please don't wake me from this high_

I'm sitting in the second bedroom of the house that I still share with Saku – I mean – Ryuichi, I'm still not quite used to calling him by his first name. I've thought of moving out several times, but something always stopped me. It has been a year since that night when Ryuichi found me in the park after I left Yuki's house, and a long, hard, and yet happy year at that. Sometimes I still feel as if I'm living in a dream and at any time I could wake up right where I started, trapped behind my mask in dead-end relationship with the man whom I had loved with all my heart...though no longer.

I know that it sounds incredibly cliché, but I've fallen in love with Ryuichi. I've fallen in love with his serious and his fun-loving side. I've fallen in love with who he is away from the crowds and fans, with who he is when it is just the two of us together.

_I'd become_

_Comfortably numb_

_Until you opened up my eyes_

When he had found me, I thought that no one would ever see through my mask to see the real me, but he did. I'd become numb on the inside, convincing myself that I didn't care that no one knew the real me anymore, but he changed that idea. He saw me, he knew the real me, and he cared enough to help me.

_To what it's like_

_When everything's right_

_Oh I can't believe_

He'd shown me that there was _someone_ in the world who understood me, and I gradually learned that I didn't have to hide anymore. He actually took me to America for a month, nearly giving Sakano-san a heart attack when he first announced it. Somehow, I'm still not sure how, he managed to fend off K long enough to explain some of the situation, and that was that. We spent our time hanging out and doing whatever came to mind, whether that was something incredibly silly or just sitting around and talking or not talking. He did his best to distract me and help me heal, and that time away from everything did help. I'm glad we took it too, because when we returned we found that the lid had blown wide open while we were away.

_You found me_

_When no one else was looking_

_How did you know just where I would be_

_Yeah you broke through all of my confusion_

_The ups and the downs and you still didn't leave_

_I guess that you saw what nobody could see_

_You found me_

The media had somehow found out that I was in America with Ryuichi, and when we returned they swarmed on us. I'm just thankful that K was there with Hiro to fend off those blood-thirty media hounds. I swear that the gossip from that incident is still going around.

Then I had to deal with Yuki. It wasn't that he wanted me back, I think he knew even before I did that he didn't love me anymore. Instead I had to deal with the fact that he had already found himself another lover, not even showing some regret over the abrupt end of our 'relationship.' That stung, but Ryuichi was always there. He was always making sure I was happy because he could see, more than any other, when I wasn't.

_So here we are_

_And that's pretty far_

_When you think of where we've been_

Feeling restless, I get out of the bedroom and wander about the house a little, still thinking.

I think that I realized I loved him about half a year ago. It wasn't one particular event that just happened to happen at that time that made me realize it. In fact, it was a relatively ordinary day when I finally came to understand my feelings towards my idol and friend. We were just sitting around watching TV, and I was lost in thought. I looked over at him, and it just hit me. I denied it at the time, who wouldn't after the kind of shit I've been through, but I came to know and accept what I felt, though I've not told Ryuichi yet.

_No going back_

_I'm fading out_

_All that has faded me within_

His kindness has helped me deal with everything day after day and regain part of who I once was. He is helping to fade out the damage that Yuki did with his, at times, unwitting negligence.

I still remember about three months ago, right after I had finished my latest concert, he came up to me backstage and said, with complete seriousness in his voice and a smile on his lips, "That's the sparkle I remember Shuichi." He saw, as I did, that Yuki's influence was wearing off, and I was regaining who I once was.

_You're by my side_

_Now everything's fine_

_I can't believe_

I smile as I look at the clock and realize I have about an hour and a half before Ryuichi normally wakes up. I've actually been planning out this day for several months, and that was part of the reason I've been up for a while just thinking.

It is the one-year anniversary of when Ryuichi first saved me, and I plan on telling him everything today. I'm going to tell him how special he is to me. I'm going to tell him that I've fallen in love with him.

_I was hiding_

_Till you came along_

_And showed me where I belong_

I quickly put together his favorite breakfast, scrambled eggs and bacon beside a bowl of a sugared American cereal he fell in love with. I make sure that I cook everything just right, that I don't burn or ruin anything, before I place it on the table in the kitchen. I can actually hear him getting up now, though that isn't that much of a surprise as I'm sure our _neighbors_ could hear him bounce about because he is a natural-born morning person.

"Shuichi!" I hear him call, obviously expecting me to still be in my bedroom and, probably, asleep.

"I'm in the kitchen," I call back, and I hear a surprised exclamation from the vicinity of my room before the older man appeared in front of me.

"Why are you up already, Shuichi?" He asks me, those brown eyes concerned. He was obviously worried about me acting out of character because he knows what day it is.

"Don't worry Ryuichi," I smile at him, calming the worry I see, "I was just fixing breakfast." He nods, accepting the truth behind the statement before he spots the table and smiles.

"It's my favorite breakfast. You didn't have to do that," he says, smiling over at me with the serious yet happy face I'd become accustomed to, the one that was a strange mix between his stage persona and the childish face he wore in front of the crowds while not on stage.

"I wanted to because it was a special day, and I wanted to...," I almost stop, but I force myself to continue with my sentence before I lose my nerve, "I wanted to tell you that...that I love you, Ryuichi."

I see his eyes widen in shock before a smile breaks out over his face, and I feel myself swept into his strong arms, my lips captured by his in a loving kiss. The kiss feels as if it lasted forever, yet I know that it lasted only a few seconds. When we break apart, I look into his eyes and I suddenly don't need to hear what I know he's going to say next.

"I love you too, Shu. I have for a long time."

_You found me_

_When no one else was looking_

_How did you know just where I would be_

_Yeah you broke through all of my confusion_

_The ups and the downs and you still didn't leave_

_I guess that you saw what nobody could see_

_The good and the bad and the things (everything) in between_

_You found me_

AN: So, what do you think? Please review!


	5. All My Love

All My Love

Disclaimer: I don't own Gravitation or anything related to it, and I don't own the song (_All My Love_ by A-Teens). I do, however, own the plot line that I've managed to develop.

Warnings: Same as before.

**AN: Please read the note at the bottom of the story and give me your input.**

AN 2: Thanks to Saint Germain, iamie, yaoi kitsune, My Fluffy Scarf, inufan1369, and Charlow for reviewing my last chapter!

Also, I'm very sorry that this took a while, but work has been hell for the past few days and I've been to tired to even think a lot much less type.

**Please read, enjoy, and review!**

I groan quietly as I'm pulled out of my sleep by the sunlight that has managed to sneak its way into the bedroom through a crack in the curtains. I glare at it before I gaze down at the younger man in my arms to make sure that he was still resting, and it seems that during the night he had managed to turn his back to the window so that his face was still in the shadows.

I smile softly as I gaze down at my boyfriend and lover of one year today. Every time that I see him, he still manages to take my breath away. The sun is currently playing across his pink locks and making them shine in much the same way his eyes do whenever he is overjoyed at something. I still can't believe how lucky I am to have him in my arms now when, at the time that I first fell in love with him, he had been so taken by another.

_I'll always remember_

_When you were lost in the rain_

_I knew that moment, my whole life had changed_

It has been two years now since I confirmed from his own words that he truly wasn't happy at all, that he truly was living his life behind a mask. I had known it before, but that was the first time that he had ever come out and said it. I looked so lost and scared when I told him that he didn't have to pretend anymore, as if he had been pretending so long that he no longer knew how to be himself.

I believe that he was also in shock that I, of all people he had known, had been the one to see through his façade, but he didn't know, at the time, that I had worn one for so long that I could see through his with ease.

_You told me to save you_

_From all the pain in your heart_

_I knew that moment, we will never part_

I will never be able to forget that look in his eyes, as if he was begging me to guide him, to help him, to _save_ him. I knew at that moment that I could no longer just sit in the sidelines. I took him in, though I never told him exactly how I felt about him. I was afraid that it would scare him and drive him away, and yet I knew that I could never leave him.

_I can give you everything you need_

_If you only say you'll stay with me_

Living away from Yuki was hard for him, and there were bad times and good times. There were times when it seemed as if we were back at square one in the recovery process, and there were times when every thing seemed as if it was going just right and that the worst was over. The latter became more frequent as time went on, though he never was quite the same as the naïve young singer that I had first met.

Time changes all of us. Then again, if time didn't change us he'd still be with Yuki, and I wouldn't be lying here with the most precious person in the world in my arms.

_All my love, is what I wanna give you_

_Everyday, everyday I love you_

_I'll be there, to lift you just a little higher_

_Fill your spirit with desire, all my love_

_Is what I wanna give you_

_Everyday, everyday I love you_

_I'll be there to take you just a little higher_

_Until you burning with desire, all my love_

It was a year ago today that he told me that he loved me. I still remember waking up that day, not sure of how he would be because it had been exactly one year after the day that he had finally left Yuki.

I had rushed to his bedroom as I did pretty much every morning, expecting to see him still deep asleep as usual. Imagine my surprise when he was not only up, but he had also fixed breakfast, my favorite at that. I could tell by looking in his eyes that he was okay, that, even though he knew what day it was, it wasn't bothering him as I feared it would.

Then he said that he had something to tell me, and the words that I had prayed for so long to hear finally came out of my mouth. I do believe that I was the happiest person in the world right at that moment.

_It's never ending_

_That flame that grows inside_

_We're starting something, when our hearts collide_

We spent all of last year getting to know each other even more, and I do believe that I love him now more than ever before, as sappy as that sounds.

Brushing his cheek with my hand once more, I slowly and carefully get out of the bed, still wearing my pajama pants. We still haven't done anything yet, but I understood why. He didn't want the relationship to become all about it, as he feels his relationship eventually became with Yuki. I'm willing to wait for as long as it takes him. I've been celibate since I first fell in love with him five years ago so this wait won't hurt me.

_I can give you everything you want_

_If you only say you'll be the one_

I head over to the kitchen after pulling the blinds closer together so that the light won't wake him as well while I finish up my surprise and after grabbing Kumagoro from where he rests on the bed. Shuichi gave me a surprise last year, so I'm going to surprise him on our one-year anniversary.

On my way, I steal into the study and search for the gift that I hid in there. I pulled out a small box and smile when I open it to reveal the ring. It was a promise ring for him, a tangible symbol of all the promises between us. It was a platinum band with four stones set into it in a line, two amethysts with a sapphire on each side of the pair. The amethysts reminded me so much of Shu's eyes whenever they sparkled, and I know that the sapphires are the same as my own eyes.

Smiling softly, I finished my trek to the kitchen and started to fix breakfast. I made him a batch of cinnamon buns from a pre-made dough kit in the refrigerator, the pink-haired singer had been addicted to them since he'd tasted them during our trip to America. He really seemed to enjoy the sugar rush first thing in the morning, probably because he wasn't normally a morning person.

Waiting for the buns to finish, I gather the rest of what I'll need, including a small bow tie to go around Kumagoro's neck and a single rose. I sit Kumagoro on the tray that I'll be carrying to Shuichi and firmly place the rose and box in his lap. Then, once the buns are done baking, I pull them out, place them on a large platter, and pour on the warm icing before placing them on the tray as well.

_All my love, is what I wanna give you_

_Everyday, everyday I love you_

_I'll be there, to lift you just a little higher_

_Fill your spirit with desire, all my love_

_Is what I wanna give you_

_Everyday, everyday I love you_

_I'll be there to take you just a little higher_

_Until you burning with desire, all my love_

Balancing everything carefully, I walk to our room and push the cracked door open with my foot. I place the tray on the bedside table carefully before I lean over my pink-haired boyfriend and plant a kiss on his cheek.

"Shuichi, it's time to wake up," I say cheerfully and quite loudly, knowing that it was the only way to wake him from his sleep. He only groans and turns face down, probably trying to drown me out, and I can only grin.

"Come on Shu, get up or I'll be forced to make you," another groan is my only response and I chuckle as I say, "well, I guess you don't want your surprise then."

_That_ wakes him up. He shoots up and his eyes shine like a child's on Christmas day. "What? What is it?" He asks impatiently, and I point out his breakfast.

He grins at the sight of the cinnamon buns, and I can tell when he finally sees Kumagoro sitting in the back of the tray with a rose and a box in his lap. He reaches out and grabs all three, careful to lift them out of the way of breakfast. He looks up at me, his eyes shining with happiness. He gasps when he opens the box and sees the ring.

"It is a promise ring, Shu," I tell him when he looks up at me again. "It symbolizes all the promises I've made to you, that we've made together. It symbolizes that I'll always be there for you whenever you need me because I love you, Shuichi," I finish and slip the ring onto his left ring finger.

He pulls me into a hug for all he's worth, and he mutters into my ear, "I love you too, Ryuichi, and thank you. Thank you...for every thing."

_I can give you everything you need_

_If you only say you'll stay with me_

**PLEASE READ, I NEED INPUT! **I have an idea for another chapter, but I'm not sure if that would be overkill. It would be set several years after this, probably around five or more, and would be from Shuichi's POV, and I want to know if you, the readers, actually want this to happen. Just let me know what you want in the review. **Thanks for the input!**


	6. Bless the Broken Road

Bless the Broken Road

Disclaimer: I don't own Gravitation or anything related to it, and I don't own the song (_Bless the Broken Road_ by Rascal Flatts). I do, however, own the plot line that I've managed to develop.

Warnings: I really don't think that we need to go over this again, right?

AN: Thanks to Charlow, hulagirlZ, yaoi kitsune, My Fluffy Scarf, and inufan1369 for reviewing my last chapter! And thank you to everyone who has and will review my story in the future, your words mean a **lot** to me!

**IMPORTANT:** This is set **seven** years after the last chapter and nine years after the first chapter as the last two have skipped one year each.

**Please read, enjoy, and review in that order!**

Even after all these years, I still can't help but just stand and stare at him sometimes, stare at the perfection that I have found. He is actually cooking dinner right now; something that many would not have believed him capable of doing, but I knew that he was not only able but is actually very skilled at it.

Gazing at him, with his sapphire eyes narrowed in concentration on the task before him, I can't help but think back on the years that I've been near him as a rival, admirer, friend, and lover.

_I set out on a narrow way many years ago_

_Hoping I would find true love along the broken road_

_But I got lost a time or two_

_Wiped my brow and kept pushing through_

_I couldn't see how every sign pointed straight to you_

_Every long lost dream led me to where you are_

_Others who broke my heart they were like northern stars_

_Pointing me on my way into your loving arms_

_This much I know is true_

_That God blessed the broken road_

_That led me straight to you_

It has been twelve long years since I had first met the love of my life, eight since I first realized and confessed my feelings to him, and four since he asked me to spend my life with him, officially that is.

I started my own music career twelve years ago, full of dreams of the fame and romance that would come. It was hard work, and at times I felt as if I had lost the reason I began singing in the first place. All I had to do, though, was listen to him sing, and I was inspired again, despite the fact that I didn't realize it at the time. He was always there for me, with a word of encouragement or wisdom or a challenge to push me to my limits and beyond. I was too wrapped up in my relationship with Yuki, with all of its trials and tribulations, at the time to realize exactly where my heart was leading me, right to where I am now. Yes, I did love Yuki in some way, but my heartbreak with him also allowed me to see where my feelings truly lay.

_I think about the years I spent just passing through_

_I'd like to have the time I lost and give it back to you_

_But you just smile and take my hand_

_You've been there you understand_

_It's all part of a grander plan that is coming true_

I often times wish that I had realized it sooner, that I had not spent those three years constantly missing what part of my heart and soul were trying to tell me. I've told Ryu this, but he simply smiles at me with that understanding look, and I know that he feels the same. I know that he wishes he had tried to save me sooner, but we both know that had things happened any differently we might not have ended up where we are now. We may both still have been trapped behind our masks with no one around to save us.

_Every long lost dream led me to where you are_

_Others who broke my heart they were like northern stars_

_Pointing me on my way into your loving arms_

_This much I know is true_

_That God blessed the broken road_

_That led me straight to you_

I know that had I not allowed myself to first fall in love with Yuki, I would never have been able to first see Ryuichi as a person rather than just as a singer. He would have always been elevated to the level of a god in my eyes, and that is certainly not something that a true, long-lasting relationship can be based upon. It was because I was with Yuki that I was able to look at Ryuichi and get to know the person behind the singer, and when my heart was broken by the golden-haired author, it was that _person_ who comforted me. It was because I lost the dream that I'd held onto for three years that I was able to see the true Ryu and fall in love with him, and that is something I'll never regret.

He took me in at my lowest point, and he brought me to my highest. I love him, and he loves me. He was willing to do anything and everything for me, and I would do the same for him. I still wear the promise ring he gave to me seven years ago to symbolize all that we were to each other along with the wedding band we got when he confessed, three years later, that he wanted that promise ring to become an engagement ring. He actually told me the night after we returned from Hiro's wedding to Ayaka. He looked so nervous, as if he wasn't sure if I'd be ready for that, but I was ecstatic and told him so immediately. We held our own private ceremony four months later where only our closest friends and family were allowed to attend. It was small, but it was very special, and I will never forget the joy on his face, that I'm sure was reflected on my own, as we recited our vows, affirming that we would be there for each other forever.

_Now I'm just rolling home_

_Into my lover's arms_

_This much I know is true_

_That God blessed the broken road_

_That led me straight to you_

Now I feel as if I'm always home whenever I'm with him. As long as I'm by his side and he is by mine then I will be happy and able to face whatever comes our way. We've faced and will face discrimination from others, but I can't honestly care when I'm so happy beside him.

_That God blessed the broken road_

_That led me straight to you._

"Shuichi, love, what are you thinking so hard about?" His voice breaks me out of my reverie, it seems he has finally noticed me standing in the kitchen doorway. I look around and realize that I must have been standing there a while because dinner is finished and looks ready to eat.

"Just us, Ryu, and just about how much I love you and will always love you," I say, smiling at my brunette lover as he walks over.

"And I love you too," he says before pulling me into a loving kiss, one that I can't help but melt into. Indeed, it was a long, hard, broken road to get where we are now, but I know that it was truly a blessed path because it led me straight to him, and I would never change that for the world.

**END**

**AN:** That is the official end of my little story. I hope that you all have enjoyed it, and I _really_ hope that I didn't go overboard in the sap and fluff on this chapter, but I wanted to get across exactly how much they loved each other without relying on the physical aspect of the relationship.

Anyway, I hope you all enjoyed it, and please review!


	7. I'm Sorry

**Disclaimer:** I don't own Gravitation, but I _do_ own this poem and the story that came before it.

Warnings: Let's not go there again...

AN: I know, I know, I said that it was finished, and I honestly thought it was. This poem, however, just popped out of no where and I thought that you might enjoy reading it.

**This is set in between Chapters 5 and 6, and it is from **_**Yuki's**_** POV.** This might help you understand why Yuki acted the way he did without making him out to be a complete bastard. Hope you enjoy it, and that _**really should**_ be the end.

**AN2: **Thanks to yaoi kitsune, Saint Germain, Charlow, DarkMetalAngel of Destruction, hulagirlZ, inufan1369, Kandi, and Yuuka-chan for reviewing Ch. 6, and thanks to all who review in the future!

**AN3: I'm REALLY REALLY SORRY about the constant loading and deleting of the chapter, it wasn't loading the way I wanted it too!!!!**

**I'm Sorry I Couldn't Love You**

I know at first you loved me  
With all your heart and soul  
You devoted every moment  
To thoughts of you and I 

I'm sorry I couldn't love you  
In the same way you loved me  
I promise you that I cared  
Sometimes more than I thought I could 

I tried to love you  
As deeply as you loved me  
And that is when I realized  
That we weren't meant to be 

So I pushed you away  
In the only way I knew  
Would get through to you for sure,  
In the only way you would believe 

Once you finally understood,  
You left me and moved on  
To the one I knew you truly loved  
And who could love you back 

I heard the news just recently  
And I'm happy because I did care  
Even when it seemed I didn't  
To you and the rest of the world 

I wish you well in the future  
And I'm sorry I had to hurt you  
To show you who could love you  
And I'm sorry I couldn't love you 

Maybe one day I'll confess to you  
Maybe you'll understand, but either way  
You're happy with him, that's what matters  
And I'm still sorry I couldn't love you 

**AN: Thanks for being so patient with me, and please review! I love all of you! **

BTW: Did he tell Shu? That's up for you to decided.


End file.
